Thank you for visiting. Our computer network has been secretly analyzing your personality for several months and learned this about you:
You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage.
Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You also pride yourself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof. But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others.
At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.
84% of people (tests over several decades) report this as accurately describing them when told beforehand it is an assessment of their personality. Wonder why this seems to be as accurate as it does? Read more about the Forer effect.
(And no, we don't have a secret network. This is a trick. Click the link and read more.)
http://is.gd/3xq0
As a voiceover coach, I get a lot of people asking me questions about how voiceover works and how to get into the industry.
Two of the most common misperceptions I find people have about voiceover are that you need a special voice (actually, average voices with very little accent get a ton of work) and that acting skills are more important than speaking experience.
Here's a great example of using acting skills in getting different "reads" of some short copy for a political ad (advertisement precedes video):
I've put together some great tips to get you started! And don't miss the fantastic spoof video at the end. You're guaranteed to recognize the voices of these guys ...
Click the subheadings to go to a synopsis of the articles, and links to the articles themselves. (Many of the articles are from my friend and fantastic voiceover coach Susan Berkley.)
Five Hidden Voiceover Success Secrets
#1 Bare Minimum Equipment Needed to Audition From Home.
#2 Top 3 Ways to Go National.
#3 Audio Books: Great For Doing Voice-Over In Your Spare Time. #4 The Fortune in Hidden Voiceovers: Industrials.
#5 How Do I Expand My Clientele?
Top Tips For Creating a Great Demo
#6 The best and most cost effective way to do a voice-over demo.
#7 Five Questions to Consider Before Sending Your Demo.
#8 Essentials For Creating An Eye-Catching Demo Package.
#9 “Stealing” National Radio Or TV Commercial Scripts For Your Demo?
Getting The Best Out of Your Voice
#10 Problems Speaking Clearly?
#11 Dry Mouth or Drool?
#12 Can The State Of Your Spirit Affect The Sound Of Your Voice?
#13 What To Do With Those Strange Little Voices.
Becoming A Pro
#14 Are There Possible Legal Ramifications From Doing Impersonations Of Famous People?"
#15 The Ethics of Turning Down Work.
#16 Tips for Smoother Q&As.
Just For Fun
You can practice the following voice exercise if you want, but I don't recommend saying it where anyone can hear you! Repeat rapidly, and watch out for spoonerisms:
I am a mother pheasant plucker:
I pluck mother pheasants.
I am the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker,
to ever pluck a mother pheasant.
Okay, and yes, here are the Kings of the voiceover industry in a fun spoof video, followed by the life of Don LaFontaine. (Want to know who the faces behind famous animated characters are? Check this out.) A number of these are the voices commonly known as "The Voice Of God," and this type of voice represents only a tiny fragment of the industry. You don't need a voice like that, trust me! 99% of the work is not for this kind of voice. Think of animation, audio books and gentle voiceovers, to mention just a few that use other styles of voice primarily.
Here are the top ten rules for writers from the 34-rule list by Dr. Gregory S. Jay, Professor, Department of English, University of Wisconsin Milwaukee:
Communication: The over, the under, the unexpected and the uncertain, oh my!
Over-Communicating
This is near where we live:
The Bureau of Communication website is a hoot--worth a visit: They offer detailed forms you can fill out to apologize, complain, give feedback, etc.
"Whether you need to communicate a problem, send an invitation to an event, or simply apologize for a transgression, our easy-to-use forms will ensure that your message is clearly conveyed."
Here are some of my favorite language facts, quirks and fun moments: Think about it …
A guy on the street waved to me, then said “I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.” “I said ‘I am.’ ” (Dmitri Martin)
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. (Steven Wright)
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. (Steven Wright)
Books are not light entertainment
The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category.
Accident, or intentional?
The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
The Shakespeare code: It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear.
"Typewriter" is the longest word that can be made using the letters only one row of the keyboard. “Keyboard” uses all three rows. (First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.)
Anagram: The United States of America = Attaineth its cause, freedom
Anagram: Raiders of the Lost Ark = Ford, the Real Star, is OK
The word "monosyllable" actually has five syllables in it
Sound it out
No English words rhyme fully with orange, silver, or month
The "ee" sound ( [i] ) has seven spellings, and the "ough" combination can be pronounced nine different ways. All spellings and pronunciations can be demonstrated in just two sentences:
"He believed Caesar could see people seizing the seas." "A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed."
Can you think of a word with six consonants in a row? There are none with more than six. Here’s one: “latchstring.” (Can’t think of another? There are two. Note: “lethologica” means not being able to remember the word you want.)
Which words not only contain all vowels, but have them in the correct order? Facetious, abstemious and arsenious (“containing arsenic.”)
Size doesn’t matter?
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable."
Two 45-letter words are the longest in the English language (Oxford English Dictionary). The first is “pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.” The second? “Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses,” its plural.
Is "I am" the shortest complete sentence in the English language? Nope. The shortest complete sentence in the English language is "Go."
Meaningful or not?
The word “nerd” was first coined by Dr. Seuss in “If I ran the Zoo.”
The word "time" is the most common noun in the English language. We need to slow down!
Anagram: Listen = Silent (Note: A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.)
Anagram: Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one (If that doesn’t surprise you, this will: 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321)
A walla-walla scene is one where extras pretend to be talking in the background -- when they say "walla-walla" it looks (and somewhat sounds) like they are actually talking.
Is there another word for Thesaurus? (Steven Wright)
Anagram: Dictionary = Indicatory
Broken English, or greater truth?
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
I don’t think that means what you think it means
The verb "cleave" has two opposite meanings. It can mean to adhere or to separate.
Until the seventeenth century the word "upset" meant to set up (i.e. erect) something. Now it means the opposite: "to capsize".
What is “Etaoin Shrdlu?” The twelve most common letters in English, in order of most frequently used to least frequently used.
Anagrams:
Just for fun: Want to talk to someone who replies in anagrams made from what you've said? Me neither. But it's fun to see how conversations unfold at Sternest Meanings.
Girl #1: Everyone always criticizes my choice in men. I get so sick of it; there's nothing wrong with Tom. Girl #2: He looks like Hitler, he drools, he's always whining and making high-pitched noises, and everyone keeps putting him down, and he never even stands up for himself. Girl #1: He may be a total loser and a freak but he still has some redeeming qualities. Plus if I didn't date him no one else would. Tom: Thanks.
Little boy: Why didn't Harry Potter just take a shotgun and blow that guy's head off?
Man: I just don't get it! Just last night you were complaining about how you never try anything new, but you feel like you should. Woman: Ok, well ordering the roast duck is a little different than a threesome, Tim.
Business woman: No, I told her I'd rather have sex with my husband than buy her products. And then she hung up on me.
Young woman #1: Guys never want to eat me out. Middle-aged dad with kids: Hey, we're trying to eat over here! Young woman #1: See, even hearing about it freaks them out. Young man at next table: Maybe I can take a look for you and give you my assessment. Middle-aged dad with kids: For God's sake, this is a family restaurant!! Young woman #2: You have a very controversial vagina.
Employee: “Thanks for calling, how may I help you?” Customer: “Hi. I came through drive-thru earlier tonight, and there’s something wrong with my food.”
Employee: “Um, okay…what’s wrong exactly?” Customer: “Well, I ordered ***, and there was a used condom on the sandwich.”
Employee, holding in a laugh: “Sir, that’s impossible. We don’t practice safe sex here.” Customer: “Well played.” *hangs up*
Electrical Store | Middlesbrough, UK
Me: “Hi, can I help you?” Man: “Yes, I want half of my money back on this camera.”
Me: “I’m sorry? Is there something wrong with it?” Man: “No, it’s fine. But I want half of my money back.”
Me: “Half of your money? I’m not sure I understand…” Man: “Look, I bought this camera about 6 weeks ago, and now it’s on a half price offer. So I want half of my money back.”
Me: “Err, sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t do that.” Man: “So get someone who can!” (I pop off to grab the manager, and explain the situation to him.)
Manager: “Good afternoon Sir. **** has explained your problem to me, and I’m afraid he’s right, we can’t refund this difference to you. The item is on sale now; it wasn’t when you bought it.” Man: “This is ridiculous! You’re ripping me off! Why won’t you give me my money back?”
Manager: “Let me ask you this–if the camera was now twice as expensive, would you come back here and pay us the extra money?” Man: “Of course not, I’m not stupid!”
Manager: “And neither am I, Sir. Good day!”
Tourist Information | Catalina Island, CA
Me: “How can I help you today?” Customer: “What time does the island close?”
Me: “Close? It doesn’t close. It isn’t like Disneyland, sir. People live here.” Customer: “Don’t lie to me. I’ve been walking around, and those houses are too small for anyone to live in.”
Me: “Sir, I live in one of those houses.” Customer’s wife: “No, honey, she can’t break character.” *winks at me* “I get it.” Customer: “But really, when do you close?”
Me: “I’m not ‘in character.’ This is an actual town, with actual people living in it. It doesn’t close.” Customer’s wife: “Don’t treat us like we’re children, just tell us when.”
Me: *sigh* “5 o’clock, ma’am. Have a nice day.”
One more from the Book Mine:
Older guy: I'm here for an appraisal. Me: I charge for appraisals. Guy: No, I don't want to pay for nothing.
Me: What do you have? Guy: A book I wrote. It's about gambling.
Me: Has it been published? Guy: No, that's why I need a (sic) appraisal.
Me: I only deal in old books. Guy: Hey, gambling is old. It's been around a long time.
Me: I don't think I can help you. Guy: Yeah I know, you're really wasting my time.
Comedians are supposed to know how to connect with their audience. (Videos below!)
For example, a generic rule of thumb from a comedy class (that my husband Dave taught) is, when your rehearsed material is not working, connect with the audience. You can just change your tone, or wording, or where you look, or you can actually talk with the audience. When people feel you've connected with them (often signaled by getting some laughs), go back to delivering your rehearsed material. (This is not a hard rule, but a general guideline for new comics learning the ropes.)
This can take almost any form. A comic (Chris Barron, performing in Minneapolis) once had a man with a huge beard in the front row. Whenever his jokes stopped getting laughs, he would just point to the guy with the beard in the front, begin clapping and say "Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. Grizzly Adams. A big hand for Mr. Grizzly Adams!!" People would laugh, and he would go on with his show. (It was amazingly effective.)
But what do you say to them if you talk? I couldn't find any examples by searching the the web, so I looked through some clips of the comic many people feel is one of the best ever at talking to the audience: Paula Poundstone. And I found some great stuff, all included below!
Paula is famous for "interviewing" folks and quickly finding all kinds of funny things to bring out. Usually she is interviewing audience members, but in one case below, she interviews a talk show host (who thinks he is interviewing her, but ends up laughing hysterically).
She often incorporates information that just came up, so some of the clips start a little bit before she talks to the audience, so you can hear how she incorporates things. Keep listening to see how she weaves the information into her talk with folks, and how once she gets going it gets funny quickly.
The first two videos pretty much start with Paula talking to the audience, but the later ones you have to fast forward to get to the best starting point. Until I get the videos into clips of just the suggested parts, what you can do is click a video to start it, then pause it. It will keep downloading while it's paused, and then after a bit you can forward it to the suggested start time, which I've posted above each video for now. (Or you can just watch the each thing from the beginning while you wait for her to get into it with folks.) Remember, the first two you can just watch right from the beginning.
I love wordplay and enjoy discovering interesting things about grammar and language (in English, Latin or Arabic), and recently came across some fun things that I thought I'd share. The internet is a great resource for us language hobbyists nerds! (And read on for the famous Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo ... sentence!)
Six-Word Stories Reveal A Lot
I don't know if you've caught the six-word bug that's been showing up more and more in the news. Here are some clever examples. (Warning: you'll have to think twice about the first one):
Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time - Alan Moore
Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer? - Eileen Gunn
Bob's last message: Bermuda Triangle, Baloney. - Elmore Leonard
The trend supposedly goes back to Ernest Hemingway. Hemingway, so the story goes, was once prodded to compose a complete story in six words. His answer, personally felt to be his best prose ever, was
For Sale: Baby shoes, never used.
Written to settle a bar bet? A personal challenge directed at other famous authors? No one knows for sure.
First, there is the famous "Buffalo" sentence: the word "buffalo" repeated up to twelve times making a grammatically correct sentence. ("Buffalo" can have four different meanings, making this possible.) It's based around a sentence like this one:
People salespeople fool often fool other people themselves.
If we replaced people with "Buffalo," and replaced salespeople with "buffalo," and replaced fool with "buffalo," you begin to the get the idea. Here's a good explanation of the buffalo sentence on Wikipedia. Read the last part first to make better sense of what's going on.